DON’T SAY GAY - Story time
Before I get into this story, I’ll give you a background on why this post is even necessary.
On February 17th, a Florida committee advanced a bill (the “Parental Rights In Education” bill, now being called the “Don’t Say Gay” bill) that would restrict discussions about sexual orientation and gender identity in schools. If passed, it would ban these types of discussions entirely from primary schools, and seriously restrict them in other grades if deemed “age-inappropriate” - with no guidelines as to what determines what makes it age appropriate.
This would make it impossible for teachers to address issues or express support for their LGBTQ+ students.
The bill would also require school personnel to inform parents of any changes to a students physical, mental, or emotional health. Which means that this would significantly limit teachers and counselors from being a confidential resource for students - ESPECIALLY for LGBTQ+ students who may not have a support system at home or cannot safely have discussions about sexual orientation/gender identity at home.
Recently, an amendment for that bill was introduced that would REQUIRE schools to inform parents within six weeks if they learn a student is any sexual orientation other than straight.
In other words, schools would be required to forcibly out their students.
It was just announced yesterday that the above amendment has been withdrawn, but the fact that it was allowed to be introduced at all (and was actually considered for over a week before being withdrawn) is outrageous.
I won’t go into more of the details because you can look up the bill on your own (I’ll include a few links at the bottom of this post as well as a petition to sign) but I do want to share a story with you all about WHY this issue bothers me and why I think, as coaches and mentors in the athletic space, we have a responsibility to say something.
As most of you know, I grew up in Miami. I was 14 years old when I came out to my family - not long before what happens in this story.
In my freshman year of high school, I was given a 4 day suspension for kissing my girlfriend in the school bathroom.
A few details for context - this was the middle of a class block and both of us asked to go to the bathroom at the same time (in our respective classes) and had pre-decided which bathroom we’d meet at. We did this because we figured it’d be the least busy in the halls and no one would say anything to us. We met up in the empty bathroom, made sure no one was in any of the stalls and then I kissed her by the sink.
About 2 seconds before our kiss ended, another student walked in and was audibly disturbed. You’d think she had just caught us without clothes on - looking back on it now, it was a pretty obnoxious response. She stormed out of the bathroom and my girlfriend and I laughed before hugging, exchanging another kiss and then heading back to class.
Neither of us thought anything of it.
The next day, right before lunch, I was called out of class to the office. I didn’t know it yet, but so had my girlfriend, but to a separate office. We were both being given 4 day suspensions. The girl who walked in on us the previous day had told security about what she saw, and security went to administration.
We weren’t given an opportunity to explain. We weren’t asked what happened.
The reason for our suspension? Inappropriate Display Of Affection.
Before I go any further, I want you to pause for a second and think back to your high school days. How around every corner in every hall, in between every class period, there were students making out and pressing up against each other and sitting on each others laps out in the open for anyone and everyone to see.
How many of those students received suspensions for inappropriate displays of affection?
Why was that not considered such, but me kissing my girlfriend in a bathroom to AVOID being seen doing so in public was?
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with any of that. Teenagers are gonna do what they’re gonna do. Everyone is experimenting and discovering themselves and hormones are all over the place and everyone’s just trying to figure shit out.
What I AM saying is that there’s a deep problem when anyone other than straight students caught making out in the halls are seen in a negative enough light to be constantly told to separate, “no PDA,” or even warrant a suspension.
What I am also saying is that what happened to my girlfriend and I happened nearly a decade ago. This year will make 10 years since I graduated and this is STILL an issue.
And it’s even more sad that I’m not surprised.
Why did we need to go to such lengths just to share a kiss? To have to coordinate what time we’d both ask, what bathroom we’d meet at in which hallway?
It’s because it was the only way we felt safe enough.
Back to the story - I want to make something clear here, specifically in reference to the bill AND the now-withdrawn amendment.
Neither my girlfriend or myself were informed that our parents had already been called and the “situation” explained to them. I learned when I got home and was asked why I was having sex in a school bathroom - which should already raise a red flag for ya about the way everything was handled.
Thankfully I had come out to my family months before this.
On the other hand, my girlfriend was NOT out yet. She wasn’t in a place where she felt safe to do so because of remarks and conversations with her family. She knew that it could put her in a potentially dangerous position if she did.
And she was right.
The moment the school called her family, they outed her, whether realizing or not, and THAT put her in an unnecessarily painful position.
If this bill passes, there will be MANY more situations like this, and worse.
I think it’s important for me to add here that I went to a comparatively accepting school. We had a program in place for LGBTQ+ students to attend every week that allowed for us to feel safe and included. I had some incredible teachers who I still remain in contact with who offered support and understanding where I felt was missing. I hope you’re reading this. We had pretty amazing guidance counselors available to talk to, one who literally saved my life. (Thank you Ms. Fletcher)
However, even with that acknowledgement, it still wasn’t enough. It ISN’T enough.
This bill is a ridiculous and unnecessary step back for not just Florida, but the other states considering adopting the bill as well. The fact that it was proposed in the first place is an immense problem.
My heart hurts for these students. And I don’t feel like I need to explain further why this proposed bill is extremely harmful to ALL youth.
What I do want to add is that as coaches in the athletic space, we have a responsibility to our students to make sure they understand they can trust and confide in us.
If a student is struggling or coming to terms with their sexuality or gender identity and they don’t feel safe to be themselves at home and they have no one they can confide in at their school, then WHERE are they getting support from??
If you’re a coach and can offer your students an HOUR they can trust they can be themselves and not be judged or put in a position where they feel unsafe - please recognize that for some youth, that may be one of the only hours in a day where they feel supported.
If you think that’s a dramatic statement, I challenge you to reach out to those you know who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and ask them how they feel about this bill.
Unless you suspect a student is in danger and can’t continue to withhold information, you have a responsibility to remain a confidant to your students while they are in your care - if they feel comfortable enough to confide in you.
As a coach or mentor in the athletic space, you are, in a way, a teacher. And if you’re not disturbed by this bill and what it proposes, then you need to ask yourself some serious questions about why.
Because if a bill were passed that would prohibit coaches from providing support for LGBTQ+ students, or if it were to require coaches to inform parents if they learn that a student is anything other than straight, I know for DAMN SURE that I would lose my job.
BILL RESOURCES
PARENTAL RIGHTS IN EDUCATION: SENATE BILL | HOUSE BILL
PETITION TO OPPOSE HB 1557 & SB 1834 (The Parental Rights In Education Bill)
- Mel Rivera
Falling off the wagon
We’re less than 10 days into the new year and the sheen of hope and change that the chime of midnight brings is starting to wear off. Everyone knows how difficult it is to maintain those resolutions we all make on the eve of each years “new beginning” - motivation and commitment for a few weeks and then the waning of it begins. That’s really when most people start to fall off the wagon.
I know this because I’m one of those people that the wagon has left far behind. Multiple times a year, I lay on the ground while I watch that wagon I just fell off of get further and further away from me - sometimes getting up to stumble along after it - and then falling flat on my face again. I do this, over and over and over again to my own detriment and, to be completely honest, I’m not really sure why.
Why is it so hard to commit to change?
I’ve been told before that I’m too comfortable in my comfort, but it’s taken a long time for it to really sink in. Why am I unhappy? Why can’t I find the drive I need to move forward?
When I rule out the aspects that are affected by my mental illness, I’m left with the fact that I’m constantly choosing comfort over change.
How many of you are doing the same?
A friend posted something yesterday that I’d like to share with you.
“You can wake up any day and be different. Stop the act. Drop the old defense mechanisms. You can wake up and decide to change anything you want, at any moment… Fear holds us back so much, but there’s nothing to be scared of. Fuck failure or looking “dumb.” It’s all a part of the story. And it doesn’t even hurt THAT bad when you fuck up. Doesn’t hurt half as bad as not knowing who you could be.”
I wonder if you really can “wake up any day and be different.” That’s much easier to do for some than others, of course - having the ability to start the process of change requires a level of privilege and time. But if you have the means to, even making the decision to wake up an hour earlier than you normally do is a choice. And making that choice day after day becomes habit. How many choices are you making right now that you wish you could do differently? I think that we really can learn to be different.
These changes I want to make are not just change for the sake of change.
It’s choosing to change for the sake of the betterment of myself. Can I be healthier? Happier? Can I enjoy all of the things I do while being of more service to those around me? As someone with a mental illness, can I take better care of my mental health and learn to ask for help when I need it?
What is in my control? What’s in yours?
Making these changes obviously won’t happen overnight. But I can start with a choice, today. Just one, and then another and another.
So today I’m choosing to be different in one small way. I’m not getting on a wagon - I’m walking along it’s tracks. Nothing for me to fall off of, but a solid path for me to follow.
My challenge to you is this: instead of looking at the long list of resolutions you’ve made for 2022, think about something you’ve always wanted to change and do THAT first.
I, for one, never feel ready for anything. So I guess you can’t really wait until you’re ready.
You just gotta take the step.
- Mel Rivera
Necessary Selfishness Pt 2
In the last post (take a minute to read it HERE if you missed it or want a refresher), I talked about how I believe that good selfishness is often undervalued and that you can’t surpass your own level of capability without it. One of the things I didn’t get to touch on was how equally as important finding a balance is when embracing this type of selfishness.
Here’s the thing; athletes at varying levels in their journeys require different levels of selfishness to reach their goals. An athlete at the top of their game has both more knowledge to give and more responsibility to maintain and surpass their capabilities - which usually diminishes their capacity to be more selfless than selfish. However, many of these athletes have found ways to prioritize their needs and training while also teaching and sharing their experience with other athletes/practitioners in their sports without it being detrimental to their performance. Seminars, online programming, tutorials and breakdowns are a few ways that professional athletes (and people of all movement practices) share their expertise with their communities. Of course, becoming increasingly selfish during times where it’s necessary for these athletes to be at their peak (such as during competition or performance) remains the status quo. But there’s plenty of time in between training and recovery where that necessary selfishness can be put to the side for the sake of helping others figure out what areas of their practice they should be focusing on.
However, for a sport like parkour that doesn’t necessarily have an “off-season,” where’s the line drawn for when to cut down on that necessary selfish practice?
What’s the purpose of hoarding all of the knowledge you gain over years of practice if it doesn’t get passed down to the next generation of athletes?
Take a couple moments to really think about that.
Prioritizing good selfishness has never meant not giving back to anyone else. It’s not an easy balance to find, but it’s a worthwhile one to aspire to, and I think that if YOU have the knowledge and experience - as well as the capacity to spread it - then you should consider it necessary to prioritize selflessness a little more often.
- Mel Rivera
Necessary Selfishness
During a long drive back to Miami from New York, Darryl was playing Episode 14 of Carl Paoli’s podcast, “I Am Carl” (also known as “The Freestyle Way Podcast”) where he speaks with Annie Thorisdottir - a two times Crossfit Games champion and her experience with being pregnant during the pandemic and how she handled changing the way she moved and trained during it all.
At one point, she says this about her lifestyle before pregnancy:
“As an athlete you live such a selfish lifestyle. You’re the number one priority and your body’s the number one priority and everything revolves around becoming better.”
She went on to talk about how much this has changed for her because of needing to share her body with another little life, and it went on to be an absolutely beautiful conversation. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said about athletes living a selfish lifestyle and how, although I probably would have denied it before thinking about what you’re about to read, it’s very true.
I think most people tend to avoid describing themselves - or anything they do - as “selfish” because we think of the word as a negative trait; but selfishness is NOT inherently bad.
Good selfishness is actually often undervalued.
Prioritizing your mental health, your nutrition, your sleep, and time for physical maintenance - all of these things are incredibly important for our bodies and minds to thrive, especially for the majority of people who have obligations other than keeping their bodies at peak performance capability (because when your life doesn’t revolve around athleticism, the focus is quite often not on keeping track of where your body and mind are health-wise, so making time to be selfish in these regards is more necessary than society puts emphasis on).
Athletes in every aspect of sport, including our own, are pretty much required to be selfish if they’re looking to ascend to the top of what they do. Without making yourself and your training/performance the number one priority, how can you expect to progress at a competitive rate? Even athletes who aren’t competitive still have to focus on their own goals and everything they need to meet those goals in order to build themselves. Realistically, that can stand outside of sport as well.
You can’t surpass your own level of capability without a degree of selfishness.
And this doesn’t mean that all athletes in every sport are just out in the world, not caring about anyone or anything else at every waking moment in order to maximize their own performance - THAT would be a detrimental and malicious level of selfishness. Many athletes have found ways to prioritize their needs and training while also teaching and sharing their knowledge and expertise with other athletes/practitioners in their sports, but I’ll get into that more in the next blog post (keep an eye out).
It’s all about BALANCE.
I’m very aware that balance isn’t easy to find - as I’m sure some of you reading this are realizing while thinking about your own habits and practices. I think it’s important - no matter what sport you play/practice or what level of athleticism you fall into - to take a step back and look at what aspects of your needs require a level of selfish attention and to what degree you’re meeting those needs.
Prioritize selfishness today, the good kind.
- Mel Rivera
Join Or Die 2021
Can you imagine being in a space where everyone has a love and passion for the same thing you do? Can you imagine doing that thing you love with those people, regardless of your level of skill? Being able to learn and train and observe and grow alongside people you may have only watched and admired on Instagram up until that very point… Within the sport of parkour, a jam is this space.
For any non-parkour folks reading this, a parkour jam is a gathering of practitioners of all levels to train together in different spaces in our communities. It’s both a social event and an extreme showcase of skill in one. People travel from different states and - in cases of bigger, international jams - from different countries in order to attend these events. While it’s not the first jam to be held since COVID restrictions have lifted, JOIN OR DIE is the first jam that Sqvadron, and I personally, have attended since the start of the pandemic and what an incredibly amazing experience it was.
Hosted by David Ehrlich and Alec Reduker of the Boston community, this is the 3rd annual Join or Die event, which is both a jam AND street competition. David and Alec first created The Commons in order to highlight the Boston Parkour community, but have slowly started to expand and created Join Or Die in order to unite the East Coast parkour community, and this years jam did EXACTLY that. People from all over the east coast were there, from as far southeast as Florida (yes I’m from Miami, but I’m not talking about me), as well as some representation from the west coast. The spirit of the jam was ALIVE and although it felt very different for some of us because of a lack of in-person social interaction for the past year and however many months (*ahem* please tell me that’s not just me), it was SO fulfilling. To hug friends again and make new ones, to push our skills together, and to just have conversations about anything and everything… it reminded me of how important these events are to our community.
At the second half of the jam, hosted at HUB Parkour Training Center (an incredible facility in Norton, MA outside of Boston with coaches dedicated to the advancement and betterment of their students), I sat for a while with Wenxin, a parkour athlete and filmmaker (check out his film - Controlled Descent - an impressive feat of athleticism and filmmaking) and just watched what was happening around us. There were people jumping and swinging, working on flips and just moving around the space in ways that any regular person who walked off the street couldn’t have understood. I think we both realized that, when you’re in the community, it’s easy to forget just how impressive and special everything that happens at these events are.
“It’s just people doing things. But sometimes you have a moment of clarity and fully realize how bonkers it is that every person around you is an extraordinary athlete.”
And it’s true! These events give athletes the chance to show their communities, and people from other communities as well, what they’ve been working on, how far they’ve progressed their skills, and also give them a level of community support that they may not normally have, and THAT alone can make all the difference for someone. A parkour jam can be so much more than just a bunch of people getting together to train, and that’s exactly what happened at Join Or Die. It was, of course, a bunch of people getting together to train. But it was also a community uniting and pushing and encouraging each other, the rekindling and creation of friendships, it was healing and restorative, and it was also a way to honor those in the community who we’ve lost.
Towards the end of the jam, Bryce Clarke - a long-standing leader in the New York community - paid a beautiful tribute to Basilio Montilla and Deyvid Garcia, who’s losses were both felt deeply across America, but especially within the east coast community. He reminded everyone of our responsibilities to the younger generation and to cherish these moments that were happening all around us, and said that the spirit of those we’ve lost live on within us and our movement - and that’s something that I’ve carried with me myself for a long time, but definitely needed the reminder of.
All of these experiences and more are made possible when people within the community try to do something FOR their communities. Join Or Die is something incredibly special and David and Alec, I can’t wait to see how far you guys take this.
Please take a moment to read this short, three question interview about The Commons, Join Or Die, and where these Boston Boys plan to take this event in the future.
- Mel Rivera
1. What exactly is The Commons?
- The Commons is a Boston based brand with the aim of highlighting the Boston parkour and freerunning community. We host local meet ups, promote the local community on social media, and create memorable events for the greater community.
The name comes from the history surrounding the city and the iconic location in the heart of Boston (Boston Common). The tagline “by the people, for the people” is based on the Gettysburg address, (though was actually from a sermon in Boston Music Hall) but we take it literally. What we do wouldn’t be possible without the time that our community volunteers put in, and the talents of creators bred by the sport -- and all of our profits go right back into the community.
2. Why did you decide to go with the name Join or Die for the jam?
- Join or Die is based on the political cartoon, created by Benjamin Franklin, used at many points in the establishment of the country. In the cartoon, a snake cut into pieces shows the east coast states. Beyond fitting in with the historic Boston branding, it drives home our mission of bringing together the east coast community. Most importantly, it just kind of sounds cool :)
3. What are you and Alec hoping to accomplish with this event/future events?
- We have two major goals -- to radically change what a parkour street event can be, and to give back to the Boston parkour community. Boston has a rich parkour history and culture, and we want to keep it on the map.
We aren’t satisfied with just being a jam. Every year we are experimenting with new street comp formats and refining the experience. Without spoiling too much -- next year will be nothing like this year, and the year after that will likely change drastically again. As we save money from merch, and bring in more sponsors, we are able to fulfill more of our ideas. This year took off beyond our expectations, and was an important stepping stool to reach more of our goals next year.
Hub Freerunning and the OG Boston jam ‘Hubbable’ inspired us as kids, and we want to pay it forward. We preach inclusivity and hope that anybody and everybody feels welcome in our community.
*Cover image by Alec Reduker*
Music or silence?
Imagine being by yourself in the gym with no music playing. Just silence and your own breath, the sounds of your hands and feet hitting the walls as you move through the space. The rattling of weights as you load and unload the bar.
To me, the sound of that silence surrounding my actions, regardless of whether I’m doing parkour or lifting, is deafening.
Lately I’ve been more observant of the people around me, particularly in the fitness/athletic realm, and what kind of habits they work to keep or kick. Some of you may not consider whether or not you have to listen to music while you train or lift to be a habit, but let me ask you a question:
Can you have as good of a session if you’re in the opposite of a situation you consider ideal for you? If you’re like me and prefer to listen to music when you train, would it negatively affect you if you left your headphones at home? Or if you thrive in silence and prefer to lift/train alone, would it be distractingly overwhelming to walk into a gym at the peak of a session with music blasting on the speakers and everyone’s energy through the roof?
I recently experienced both ends of this.
At the first ever Sunshine State Championships two weeks ago, (a parkour competition hosted by the FLPK League) the athletes who made it through to the final round were given the opportunity to choose what song they wanted to play during their final attempts to earn a spot on the podium. I wasn’t at all surprised when Raul, a friend and long standing member of the parkour community, opted to have no music playing in order to perform with the highest level of focus possible. If the room could have been completely silent in that moment, I think he’d have preferred it that way.
But I know that, had the option to have no music playing not been presented, he would have performed with the same level of intensity and focus regardless.
At MOVE LIFT LIVE, an incredible community of human beings in Brickell (Miami) dedicated to bettering themselves and motivating those around them to do the same, I overheard a conversation between Darryl and Nelson - a new friend of ours and mentor within the Village - regarding how he felt about working out after the energy in the gym had just calmed down from everyone finishing up their sessions.
“I usually like it when the gym is like this, but sometimes I need the madness, the chaos; I need Armando yelling and his crazy loud music, I need THAT energy.”
And I definitely understood what he was saying. If I hadn’t already lifted in the midst of that “chaos” Nelson mentioned, I don’t know that I would have had as good of a session.
But then, even after expressing his desire for a different energy than the one he was experiencing in the gym, he went to WORK. No complaints, no wishful thinking about anything being different (out loud, at least), just hard. fucking. work.
There’s a kind of fortitude that begins to develop when you do things outside of your comfort zone, and something as simple as having to train in a space that doesn’t necessarily cater to your desires can start that process.
A choice as seemingly insignificant as whether or not to have music playing while you train becomes much more important when you consider how it’s going to affect your performance and why. Realistically, it shouldn’t matter. I recognize that there’s plenty of people who may read this and think to themselves about how they’re unaffected either way and this whole post is maybe a little pointless, and I think that’s great! I’m working to one day be able to achieve that level of indifference to something that ultimately shouldn’t determine the outcome of my session anyway.
However, if you’re like me and find yourself relying on a certain external factor like music or vibe to help push you through whatever session you’re having, I challenge you to choose the opposite of what you prefer.
It’s easier to complain and say “damn the music sucked today” or “I can’t train in this energy” and walk away with a half-assed session and the intention of coming back tomorrow. But wouldn’t it be more rewarding to get through it anyway?
I did it today. And although I won’t lie and say that I loved the experience, it definitely forced me to reach into something I hadn’t before.
There’s strength in that and I want to harness it.
I think you should too.
- Mel Rivera
World Mental Health Day
Every year, October 10th rolls around and I try to write something that encompasses how it feels to live and function with a mental illness in order to dispel stigmas and help others gain a better understanding of how to check in with the people in their circle who may be struggling - including themselves. October 10th is World Mental Health Day and I recently had a short exchange with a new friend of mine that I’d like to share with you instead of what I normally do. She said to me during a conversation about my diagnosis - “I think we all have a little bit of darkness in us, even if we’re not officially diagnosed with anything,” and I completely agree.
This statement wasn’t to take away from what I was disclosing, but rather was about how many people can relate to the struggles I face and how important it is to regularly bring these struggles to the surface in order to normalize talking about them.
Something I think is important to recognize is that you don’t have to have a diagnosed mental illness for your mental health to be an area of concern. EVERYONE has a responsibility to tend to their mental health, in the same way you do physical health. In the sports/competitive realm, athletes of all levels have a tendency to put mental health on the back burner for the sake of performance. I’m guilty of this and I know others who’ve done the same, and many who continue to do so. There’s a belief that physical activity alone is the answer for keeping mental health issues at bay. Feeling a little sad? Go for a run. Frustrated or anxious? Lift some weights, you’ll feel better. While these things can help some people, they’re not the solution for all; especially not for individuals whose livelihoods surround physical activity. For athletes, neglecting mental health and focusing solely on physical performance = burnout, at the very least.
If an athlete rolls their ankle, even just slightly, do you think they’re going to wait until that ankle completely gives out before they start addressing the issue? Or are they going to start doing conditioning to strengthen that ankle and mobility work to regain range of motion?
If you notice you’re waking up with a knot in your chest that won’t go away, or that you’re finding less joy and excitement in things you know you love to do, don’t you think you should take the time to evaluate what’s causing you to feel that way?
These things, although small, can slowly grow and grow until they become something that takes you to a place you never imagined you’d be.
Now, I’m not writing this post to talk about methods for improving mental health or how to go about evaluating it either; my intention is only to bring awareness to the fact that YOU, reader, may not fully understand how important it is to spend some time checking in with yourself. Going back to what my friend said about us all having a little bit of darkness in us, no one will go through life completely untouched by some degree of mental health struggle. It’s the nature of living to experience the full range of human emotion - the good and the bad, the light and the dark. And it’s in the moments where your darkness is overtaking the light, that you HAVE to acknowledge it; to face it and to remember that you are not alone in your fight.
I think it’s also important to remember that although there are countless others who can relate to your struggle and are willing to help shine a light for you, YOU are the only one who can allow others into your fight.
You wouldn’t hesitate to ask for someone to bring you soup when you’re sick.
If you’re struggling, please, ask for the soup.
You don’t have to fight alone.
- Mel Rivera
90/10 Failure/Success
As a parkour athlete, I spend about 90% of the time failing.
You read that correctly: I spend about 90% of the time - FAILING - at my sport.
This is something I never really considered until I heard Darryl explain it during a first-of-it’s-kind Parkour Integrated Training workshop at Deuce Gym in Venice Beach, CA - home to some of the most incredible human beings on the planet (we’ll get into that a bit later). During one part of the workshop, Darryl was explaining to this group of diversely skilled individuals that in parkour, it’s necessary to fail; as it’s where we gain the most information about what we need to do to not fail. However, failing NINETY PERCENT of the time sounds absolutely absurd. What kind of athlete would allow themselves to perform at such a seemingly incompetent level? Isn’t the goal of professional athleticism to train yourself to succeed at the highest of levels - and often?
The thing is, the more advanced of an athlete you become in parkour, the more challenges begin to creep toward near impossible degrees of difficulty.
To say that pursuing superhuman levels of performance doesn’t come easy would be an understatement.
Before I go any further, I want to make clear that I’m not talking about a person who just does parkour. There’s a difference between someone who enjoys to play the game and an athlete who pours their all into training to be the best at what they do. This is true for every sport and discipline, and parkour is no exception. I enjoy playing basketball, but to say that I’m a basketball player would be an insult to the athletes who dedicate their entire livelihoods to the game. As a more direct example, I’ve been doing parkour for a little over a decade now, but it’s only in recent years that I’ve begun training with the goal of establishing myself as a true athlete in the sport - and I still hesitate to call myself an athlete at the professional level.
Back to the point at hand; yes, we spend about 90% of the time failing at what we specialize in. It can definitely be as disheartening as it sounds: the trend among parkour athletes to fall into a hole of self deprecation because of this inevitable part of the process towards progression is at the forefront of our interactions. “I’m trash” or “that was trash” has become one of the most common phrases that I hear practitioners of all levels say. When you spend hours and hours day after day for sometimes weeks at a time attempting the same challenge obsessively, only to have to face the fact that you’re not strong enough or confident enough to complete it at the end of the day, it definitely creeps into your mind that - maybe - you’re not good enough.
HOWEVER, these failures are indeed necessary for our progression. For example, Darryl is a parkour athlete at the highest and most professional level of the sport, which means that the challenges he often faces are ones that even those of us who know his capabilities question are possible. To watch him attempt each aspect of a challenge with impeccable precision and incomparable technique is to witness a human being who has nearly perfected the art of gravitational manipulation, to the degree of which is physically attainable. It’s impossible to watch his attempts that end in failure and see it as incompetence; the mastery exists regardless of the outcome. We watch and study these movements in order to see what adjustments an athlete of Darryl’s caliber makes in order to apply this knowledge to our own practice.
This is the process of fine tuning. A never ending cycle of adjustments made to fit each scenario and challenge we face.
You try and you fall and then what? You obviously can’t get up and do the same thing you just did because it’ll lead to the same outcome. Instead, you analyze: WHY did I fall? WHAT am I missing? In doing this, you begin to learn from each failure, making it an invaluable part of your athletic development.
And then after 5, 10, or sometimes 50+ attempts spread out over days of work and constant analysis of your own failures, something clicks. And just like that, you unlock the challenge.
Success.
The sweetness of that one moment after however many failures that came before it is the main reason why professional athletes and general practitioners alike continue to push the movement to higher levels of possibility than the founders of our sport could have ever imagined.
That 90% failure rate is what makes the 10% all that much more important. Because without it, there’s no true understanding of the movement. Without it, there’s no real progression to be made.
When you look at each failure as a valuable and necessary part of the process, your perspective on that 90/10 ratio begins to shift. It did for me. It’s a constant process of learning and failing and growing before succeeding. And every success comes with that same fight.
The 10% is worth fighting for.
- Mel Rivera
The Story of TRIALS MORALES!
It all begins with an idea.
What an AMAZING FANTASY… The story of a hero being born is one that is told over and over again and never gets old. This isn’t an origin story however, this is a new arc in a long, ongoing series. This time a hero, that was for years reluctant to accept his great responsibility, has finally fully accepted that responsibility and chosen to take up the mantle of hero #4ThaPeople! This is not the story of your average, everyday, oversold, overadvertised, overrepresented hero… No no no… This is the story of the unheard unless it’s what society wants to hear, the unseen unless it’s what society wants to see, and the underrepresented unless it’s the representation that society deems “appropriate.”
This story follows a hero that speaks to those whose voices have been falling on deaf ears for centuries! A hero that chose to rise above the structures of hatred, suppression, oppression, enslavement and disenfranchisement to make the statement “THERE IS NO STRUCTURE YOU CAN BUILD THAT WE CANNOT OVERCOME!”
A tale of the most intricate and unfathomably large structural challenge, being completely dominated by what is thought to be an inferior challenger! A hero garbed in the most dangerous fashion challenging an adversary that most believe cannot be defeated. A war between David & Goliath! The tale of TRIALS MORALES is an allegory, depicting our seemingly endless war on oppression and the unbeatable greatness that has crowned our culture the undisputed champion of the world…
The oppressed will prevail, for we are many, and we are inevitable!
- Wavy